NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
