i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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