just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
