Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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