speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
