My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
3pm strippers are depressing
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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