whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Small penises have feelings too.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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