at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
