You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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