i think my mom watched the whole time
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
