I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize