he wants to bone in the snuggie
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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