maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
