My nipple is on Facebook.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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