atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
