Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
