I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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