Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
