So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I have feelings that need drinking.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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