Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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