So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Someone shattered a urinal.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
