i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
