peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
