scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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