Swine flu. Run for my life!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
