i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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