Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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