my phone needs a breathalizer
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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