yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize