so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
