he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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