Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
