I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
