im about as happy as oj after his trial
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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