Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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