Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
