Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
