It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
