I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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