i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
