the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
