4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
