Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
