Christians are straight up FREAKS
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You are the jesus of drinking
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
