if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
