rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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