Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize