Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
