I love black thongs
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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