she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
