Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
