id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
