put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
