hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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