I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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