She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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