you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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