I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
