I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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