i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
